Personal Rant // Diary-ish-thing Post
Not really much to see here, just expressing my feelings, but, read it if you want.
Bits and Pieces of my Life
- Tomorrow morning, I’m recording a radio ad. (Does anyone even listen to those anymore?)
- I had an argument this afternoon (with my mother) about whether being gay is a choice. UGH.
- She brought up something about God, and I almost screamed at her that I don’t believe in God, but I was too much of a chicken-shit.
- PS, I’m agnostic, and my family (and friends - who are all uber-religious) don’t know… (Except, my sister will know when she reads this.) I’m not sure why I haven’t told them, yet. Mostly fear of rejection, I suppose.
- I haven’t worked out in a long, long, long time, which is why I haven’t seen much of a change in my weight. But, I’ve been seeing a change in my belly (not for the better, either) and I’ve decided I really need to set some goals for myself in that aspect.
- I’ve been over-eating since Thanksgiving for no apparent reason…
- I’m afraid that, with the stress of Dead Week/Finals, I will gain ten pounds from all the food I will probably be stress-eating.
- I’ve become addicted to Disney music after watching the video that I posted last night.
- On that note, I have a hard time choosing my favorite Disney princess. It’s either Mulan or Pocahontas.
- I was supposed to move to Portland in January, but that plan has gone down the tubes. AGAIN. UGHHH.
- I have felt really, uh, lonely? in the “love department” lately. I don’t know how to put it, exactly. I guess I’m just longing for some guy to come sweep me off my feet. (I have my eye on this guy in my Spanish class right now, and I think he has his eye on me, too, but… we’re both socially awkward, and, yeah… nothing’s happening. :/)
- I don’t like feeling like I need a guy to be happy, but that’s just how it is right now.
- I’ve never kissed anyone under the mistletoe, and I really want to.
- Shut up, brain, stop being so mushy and sad!
- “Let’s get down to business, to defeat the Huns.”
- I’m starting to smell food when there is none around - not a good sign.
- I should study now, especially since I only have ten hours until I have to be at the radio station, and I would like a good night’s sleep.
- This was a nice way to get stuff off my mind. I think I will continue to do these lists when I feel like it.
Things on my mind lately…
- “This would be a good song to have sex to” (just about any song)
- What would happen if I dated/married a guy from tumblr?
- I love Movember [moustaches!]
- I have become vain since losing weight (I swear, I cannot stop looking at myself in mirrors…)
- I feel sexier in lace panties [must buy more]
- I need to move out so I can walk around the entire house naked
I work at a wedding shop. I have been surrounded by long, flowing, expensive white gowns for over a year.
It’s getting to me.
I was never the girl that planned out her fairy tale wedding. I designed dresses, yes, but, that was only because I thought that I wanted to be a fashion designer… As of late, however, I have been planning - dresses, tuxes, color-schemes, locations, favors, etc. - for a wedding that, most likely, will not happen until I’m 30.
Still, my internal clock is tick-tick-ticking, counting down the minutes until I am wearing one of those angelic dresses down the aisle. If I could do it now, I probably would… But, there’s one little, teensy-weensy problem:
I need a man.